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  How much of a Klouchebag are you?
Posted by Nathan on Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 19:36 - 14 Comments
 
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Nathan Iceland

 
Tom Scott 
What is this?
    This is Klouchebag — the standard for measuring asshattery online!

No, seriously, what's this?
    I got annoyed with the fuss around Klout, the horrible social-game that assigns you a score based on how "influential" you are online. This is the result.

Who made it?
    Hello. I'm Tom Scott. I live at tomscott.com, and you can email me or follow me on Twitter or Facebook.

It called me names!
    Sorry. Don't take it personally. This is about as scientific as Klout's own measurements — which is to say, it's pretty much a crapshoot. You're probably a lovely person. Although you might want to cut down on the swearing a bit.

What do the ratings mean?
    Klouchebag uses the ARSE rating system. Anger: profanity and rage. Retweets: "please RT"s, no or constant retweeting, and old-style. Social Apps: every useless checkin on foursquare or its horrible brethren. And English Usage: if you use EXCLAMATION MARKS OMG!!! or no capitals at all, this'll be quite high.

Isn't "douchebag" a sexist insult?
    Opinion is divided. I chose it because it's the only insult that you can put "kl" in the front of and still have it mostly make sense. (Plus, "klunt.com" was unavailable.)

Why no achievements? Ooh, or perks?
    I don't want people to actually start competing! (And I'm a bit lazy.)

It's broken!
    Quite possibly. This was coded in a few hours' frenzy after getting the idea, and there are almost certainly bugs. It won't work if your corporate network blocks Twitter, for example.

But... but my Klout score is important!
    No it's not. It's like search engine optimisation, only for yourself. Ignore it. Concentrate on making amazing things, caring about the people around you, and not being a douchebag. If you do that, then you'll soon realise that it doesn't matter one jot what an algorithm thinks of you.

I have another question!
    Email me. I'm friendly. Oh, and I thought I should mention that I'm looking for work doing web, video and viral stuff. Just in case.


I got 11 - Quite a Nice Person.

Check out your score!


 
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 » Comment on: How much of a Klouchebag are you?
#1
 
Kon-Tiki Belgium

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 19:50
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Can't test it, don't have a Twitter account. I don't understand how people feel the need to let everybody and their cat know what they put on their sandwich this morning. Nobody cares about that, so nobody cares about that from me, and henceforth I have no need for a Twitter account.
 
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#2
 
blastermak Netherlands

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 20:27
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I've got 21 - mostly alright. I feel insulted by this :P
 
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#3
 
Foxi4 Poland

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 22:07
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8 - A Nice Person.

Yeah, right. :P
 
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#4
 
Kon-Tiki Belgium

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 22:35
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You all got Twitter? What do you guys have to share with the world that might possibly interest everybody and their cat? confused
 
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#5
 
Athmel United States

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 22:40
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I don't have a twitter, but I'm just about the nicest person anyone has ever met.
 
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#6
 
Nathan Iceland

  Sat, April 28th, 2012 at 23:56
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I only really use my Twitter account to keep up with bands I like and their latest stuff. I find the 140 character limit annoying, as I tend to post more interesting stuff than "just had a bath - greatest. bath. ever." for which I then abuse Google+. But yeah, not a big fan of Twitter's users either. I do think they have one of the best layouts of all websites, though. A shame the JavaScript is huge and somehow just visiting Twitter makes Opera crash.
 
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#7
 
Athmel United States

  Sun, April 29th, 2012 at 00:21
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I think my cat is a socialist. #politicalfelines
 
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#8
 
Kiekoes Netherlands

  Sun, April 29th, 2012 at 10:43
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65 - Facepalm Central

lol
 
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#9
 
realizze United Kingdom

  Sun, April 29th, 2012 at 18:33
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8 :D mainly because i've only used it once o.o
 
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